{"id":456,"date":"2016-10-26T19:18:17","date_gmt":"2016-10-26T16:18:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/?p=456"},"modified":"2017-07-10T21:22:53","modified_gmt":"2017-07-10T18:22:53","slug":"hani-mezuniyet-falan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/random-stuff\/hani-mezuniyet-falan\/","title":{"rendered":"hani mezuniyet falan"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>\u201cB\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce ne olacaks\u0131n?\u201d<\/em> diye sorarlard\u0131. Uzak, upuzaaak bir gelecekti o zamanlar b\u00fcy\u00fcmek.<br \/>\n<em>\u201cZengin olcam b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\n<em> \u201cDoktor olcam.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\n<em> \u201cKlipte oynuycam.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\n<em> \u201cLunapark a\u00e7\u0131cam.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nD\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye gerek yoktu ki, koyver gitsindi, daha \u00e7oooook zaman vard\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fcmeye, bir ara yapar\u0131zd\u0131.<br \/>\nYa\u015f olmu\u015f 21, mevcut hayat beklentisine g\u00f6re yolun \u00e7eyre\u011fi bile etmez. Art\u0131k \u201cb\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce\u201d de\u011fil, <em>\u201cSeneye ne yapacaks\u0131n?\u201d<\/em> diye soruyorlar bana, hakl\u0131 olarak.<br \/>\n<em>\u201cI\u0131\u0131\u0131. Lunapark?\u201d<\/em><br \/>\n\u00d6yle bir durum ki; seneye lunapark olsam \u015fa\u015f\u0131rmam. Bir atl\u0131kar\u0131nca var beynimde zaten, f\u0131ld\u0131r f\u0131ld\u0131r d\u00f6n\u00fcp duruyor. <em>\u201cOkul bitti, i\u015fe ba\u015flamak laz\u0131m. \u00d6\u011frencilik g\u00fczel, master yapmak laz\u0131m. Bir s\u00fcr\u00fc farkl\u0131 sekt\u00f6r var, en sevdi\u011fimizi bulmak laz\u0131m. Bu kapitalizmin ben &#8230;. , insanl\u0131\u011fa hizmet etmek laz\u0131m.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nEskiden beri sevdi\u011fim, maymun i\u015ftahl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 pek g\u00fczel perdeledi\u011fim \u201cinterdisiplinerlik\u201d bu Amerikanlar\u0131n kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131 tabirle \u201cpain in the ass\u201d olmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 sanki son zamanlarda.<em> \u201cDe\u011fi\u015fmeyen tek \u015fey de\u011fi\u015fimse, o zaman sal ya.\u201d<\/em> sevdi\u011fim bir bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131. G\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda hayatta hi\u00e7bir \u015fey deterministik de\u011filse, bakal\u0131m gelecek neler getiriyor diyerek uzun vadeyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden hareket ederdim hep.<br \/>\nKa\u011f\u0131t \u00fcst\u00fcnde ger\u00e7ekten de yapt\u0131m bir \u015feyler. Yazd\u0131m, \u00e7izdim. Gezdim. Okudum, \u00f6\u011frendim. Arkada\u015flar edindim, ortamlar g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, zorluk \u00e7ektim, rahatl\u0131\u011fa erdim. Bunlar\u0131n hepsi g\u00fczel \u015feyler. Ama t\u00fcm bunlar\u0131 yaparken asl\u0131nda ba\u015f koyaca\u011f\u0131m bir yol bulmay\u0131, r\u00fczgar\u0131n beni savurmayaca\u011f\u0131 bir yere k\u00f6k salmay\u0131 istiyormu\u015fum i\u00e7ten i\u00e7e. Son zamanlarda yumurta kap\u0131ya dayan\u0131nca, u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m her i\u015fe, \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fim her yeni bilgiye adeta evde kalm\u0131\u015f evlat annesi gibi potansiyel bir \u201chayat arkada\u015f\u0131 bulma\u201d g\u00f6z\u00fcyle bak\u0131yorum.<br \/>\n<em> Ben bunu uzun s\u00fcre yapmak ister miyim?<\/em><br \/>\n<em> Bu konuda parmakla g\u00f6sterilecek kadar emek harcar m\u0131y\u0131m?<\/em><br \/>\n<em> Gecemi g\u00fcnd\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc verir miyim bu i\u015fe?<\/em><br \/>\n<em> Evi var m\u0131 , arabas\u0131 var m\u0131, sigortal\u0131 m\u0131?<\/em><br \/>\n\u00c7ok sevdi\u011fim, g\u00f6n\u00fcllerimizin rekt\u00f6r\u00fc Nihat Berker Hocam \u00e7ok yak\u0131n bir zamanda bana demi\u015fti ki<em> \u201cKarars\u0131z kalsan da durmamak, hep bir \u015feylerle u\u011fra\u015fmak laz\u0131m.\u201d<\/em> Hakl\u0131yd\u0131. Yine ayn\u0131 anne profilinin <em>\u201cEvde oturcan da k\u0131smet aya\u011f\u0131na m\u0131 gelcek?\u201d<\/em> dedi\u011fi gibi kahveni, kaplama defterini, envayi \u00e7e\u015fit dergiyi \u00f6n\u00fcne alarak gelecek plan\u0131 yap\u0131lm\u0131yordu.<br \/>\nHayatta hi\u00e7 rol modelim oldu mu diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn. Hi\u00e7 olmam\u0131\u015f. Bir tane bile. \u0130\u00e7ten i\u00e7e hep herkesin hikayesinin birbirinden farkl\u0131 oldu\u011funa inanm\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Bir elbise ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde g\u00fczel duruyorken kendim denemeden nas\u0131l almazsam, ayn\u0131 onun gibi soru i\u015faretiyle yakla\u015fm\u0131\u015f\u0131m her \u015feye. \u00dcst\u00fcne uzun uzun d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm baz\u0131 \u015feyler hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 olmu\u015f, bal\u0131klama atlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m baz\u0131 \u015feyler hayat\u0131m\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmi\u015f. \u015eimdi bundan bir sene sonra ne yap\u0131yor olaca\u011f\u0131m soruldu\u011funda, idealistik bir yan\u0131t veremedi\u011fim i\u00e7in vicdan azab\u0131 duysam da i\u00e7imden bir ses <em>\u201cBal\u0131klama atlayacak bir deniz \u00e7\u0131kacak kar\u015f\u0131na. Rotay\u0131 k\u0131rma, r\u00fczgar\u0131 takip et.\u201d<\/em> diyerek engel oluyor bana. <em>\u201cBu y\u0131l ataca\u011f\u0131n ad\u0131m \u00e7ok kritik, hayat\u0131n\u0131 belirleyecek.\u201d <\/em>dedikleri zaman insanlar, \u015f\u00f6yle bir yutkunuyorum. Akl\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na dev\u015fir diye k\u0131z\u0131yorum kendime, h\u0131rsla ev ocak temizlemeye giri\u015fen titizlik hastalar\u0131 gibi bir y\u0131\u011f\u0131n e-posta silip ka\u011f\u0131t ay\u0131kl\u0131yorum. Sonra i\u00e7imden yine o ses <em>\u201cSa\u00e7malama, baz\u0131 \u015feylerin cevab\u0131n\u0131 zamanla alacaks\u0131n. Ald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ge\u00e7 olmayacak, her zaman farkl\u0131 bir yola sapabilirsin.\u201d<\/em> diyor.<br \/>\n\u015eimdi bak\u0131yorum da, belki ya\u015f\u0131t\u0131m herkese de\u011fil ama, bana kesinlikle \u015fu soru sorulmal\u0131 asl\u0131nda:<em> \u201cB\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce ne olacaks\u0131n?\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nVe cevab\u0131 belli: LUNAPARK!<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cB\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce ne olacaks\u0131n?\u201d diye sorarlard\u0131. Uzak, upuzaaak bir gelecekti o zamanlar b\u00fcy\u00fcmek. \u201cZengin olcam b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce.\u201d \u201cDoktor olcam.\u201d \u201cKlipte oynuycam.\u201d \u201cLunapark a\u00e7\u0131cam.\u201d D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye gerek yoktu ki, koyver gitsindi, daha \u00e7oooook zaman vard\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fcmeye, bir ara yapar\u0131zd\u0131. Ya\u015f olmu\u015f 21, mevcut hayat beklentisine g\u00f6re yolun \u00e7eyre\u011fi bile etmez. Art\u0131k \u201cb\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce\u201d de\u011fil, \u201cSeneye ne yapacaks\u0131n?\u201d diye soruyorlar bana, hakl\u0131 olarak. \u201cI\u0131\u0131\u0131. Lunapark?\u201d \u00d6yle bir durum ki; seneye lunapark olsam \u015fa\u015f\u0131rmam. Bir atl\u0131kar\u0131nca var beynimde zaten, f\u0131ld\u0131r f\u0131ld\u0131r d\u00f6n\u00fcp duruyor. \u201cOkul bitti, i\u015fe ba\u015flamak laz\u0131m. \u00d6\u011frencilik g\u00fczel, master yapmak laz\u0131m. Bir s\u00fcr\u00fc farkl\u0131 sekt\u00f6r var, en sevdi\u011fimizi bulmak laz\u0131m. Bu kapitalizmin ben &#8230;. , insanl\u0131\u011fa hizmet etmek laz\u0131m.\u201d Eskiden beri sevdi\u011fim, maymun i\u015ftahl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 pek g\u00fczel perdeledi\u011fim \u201cinterdisiplinerlik\u201d bu Amerikanlar\u0131n kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131 tabirle \u201cpain in the ass\u201d olmaya ba\u015flad\u0131 sanki son zamanlarda. \u201cDe\u011fi\u015fmeyen tek \u015fey de\u011fi\u015fimse, o zaman sal ya.\u201d sevdi\u011fim bir bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131yd\u0131. G\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda hayatta hi\u00e7bir \u015fey deterministik de\u011filse, bakal\u0131m gelecek neler getiriyor diyerek uzun vadeyi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden hareket ederdim hep. Ka\u011f\u0131t \u00fcst\u00fcnde ger\u00e7ekten de yapt\u0131m bir \u015feyler. Yazd\u0131m, \u00e7izdim. Gezdim. Okudum, \u00f6\u011frendim. Arkada\u015flar edindim, ortamlar g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, zorluk \u00e7ektim, rahatl\u0131\u011fa erdim. Bunlar\u0131n hepsi g\u00fczel \u015feyler. Ama t\u00fcm bunlar\u0131 yaparken asl\u0131nda ba\u015f koyaca\u011f\u0131m bir yol bulmay\u0131, r\u00fczgar\u0131n beni savurmayaca\u011f\u0131 bir yere k\u00f6k salmay\u0131 istiyormu\u015fum i\u00e7ten i\u00e7e. [&hellip;]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":457,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_stc_notifier_status":"sent","_stc_notifier_sent_time":"2023-05-09 00:46:00","_stc_notifier_request":false,"_stc_notifier_prevent":false,"_stc_subscriber_keywords":"","_stc_subscriber_search_areas":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-456","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/456"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=456"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/456\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":458,"href":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/456\/revisions\/458"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/457"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bengusuozcan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}